Enjoy a ‘Bitter Feast’
Let’s start this column with a review within a review. Bitter Feast is a new horror film for foodies that follows chef Peter Grey, and his reactions to a negative review from notorious food critic J.T. Franks, portrayed by Joshua Leonard.
reviewed by J.T. Franks
“Peter Grey’s exercise in masturbatory pretentiousness, “Feast”, has done nothing to up the average. Many of you know Peter Grey for his insufferable and increasingly skin-crawling awkward sustainable/organo-themed cable television series “The Feast with Peter Grey”, which rumor has it, is teetering on the brink of cancellation… The city’s diners should be considering themselves fortunate if the same fate befalls this dud of a restaurant.”
Sounds like the perfect setup for a chef to seek revenge on a food blogger, huh? Bitter Feast adopts a Saw-like premise (we say this in the best possible way) pitting J.T. Franks (Joshua Leonard, The Blair Witch Project), a widely known food blogging critic, against chef Peter Grey (James LeGros, Zodiac, The Last Winter), whose career he just bashed far into the ground. Grey gets his revenge by kidnapping Franks, whose only chance of survival is to complete certain challenges… food challenges. It’s tense, beautifully shot, and really the ideal film for a gore hound foodie. With a great cameo from Mario Batali (check out our awesome giveaway at the bottom!), this film not only makes you hungry, but it shows the importance and impact that our blogging society has on this generation. Hell, we might even convince you to try one of these recipes. When you’re done here, make sure to check out Marc’s review right here.
For our main course:
J.T. Franks and Beans
1- 28 ounce can baked beans
4 hot dogs, sliced
1/2 cup ketchup
1/2 cup barbecue sauce
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup onion, chopped
2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
2 packages corn bread mix (8 oz each)
Preheat oven to 350. Grease 2 8″ square pans or 1 large casserole pan. Prepare corn bread according to package directions; set aside. In mixing bowl, combine beans, hot dogs, ketchup, barbecue sauce, brown sugar & onion. Transfer to pans & sprinkle tops with mozzarella cheese. Drop corn bread mix by the spoonful onto pans filled with mixture. Bake at 350 for 40-45 minutes or until top is golden brown.
This casserole freezes well. Cover and freeze up to 3 months. To cook, remove from freezer 30 minutes before baking. Bake, covered, for 40 minutes. Uncover and bake another 15-20 minutes. Check out the step by step photos below and then continue on for a cocktail, dessert, and those contest details!
Let’s wash that down with a “bitter” drink:
Equal parts- brandy, gin, ginger ale, rum
1/2 oz lime juice
1-2 dashes of bitters
And for dessert:
Mulberry (or Belladonna?) Pie
2 cups flour
1 tsp salt
3/4 cup shortening, well chilled
4-8 tsp ice water
3 cups fresh mulberries
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup flour
2 tablespoons butter
Add flour to food processor. Cut shortening into pieces and add to processor. Pulse until mixture resembles course crumbs. Slowly add in water a tablespoon at a time, while pulsing flour, until mixture sticks together. Be careful to not add too much water! Remove from processor and divide in half. Pat each half into a disc and wrap in plastic wrap. Chill for 30 minutes. Preheat oven to 400 degrees while dough is chilling.
Mix mulberries, sugar, and flour together for filling.
Roll out one dough disc and place in pie pan, trimming edges of dough even with outer edge of pie pan. Add mulberry filling. Dot with butter. Roll out second dough disc and place over filling. Trim edges, leaving a ¾ inch overhang. Fold top edge under bottom crust. Press edges together to seal, and crimp edges as desired. Cut slits in top of crust. Bake pie for 15 minutes. Lower temperature to 350 degrees and bake for 30 more minutes. Remove pie from over and let cool before serving.
*Since it’s December, we used blackberries in our pie. We know, we know, this is cheating. But we used organic ones to make Peter Grey proud and since Nicole has a mulberry tree in her backyard, you can bet your ass we’ll be making this pie all summer long with some fresh ones!
Now, we’re pretty sure everyone knows how to cook an egg and steak, but here’s some tips to help you to survive when Grey finds you:
Challenge #1- Perfect eggs over easy:
Heat butter over medium high heat. Carefully crack an egg into the pan, making sure to not crack the yolk (this is the important part, and may require some practice). Cook until the edges of the egg whites begin to solidify. Flip the egg with a spatula once the whites turn opaque. Make sure to use a wide spatula, and slide it all the way under the egg. Let the egg slide off the spatula and flip over. Again – be careful to not break the yolk. Cook for 10 seconds and flip onto a plate.
Challenge #2- Perfect steak, medium rare:
The first rule to a perfect steak is to always let your meat be at room temperature before grilling it. Once the temperate is just right (usually anywhere from 30-60 minutes after it’s taken out of the refrigerator), make sure to pat it dry. A wet steak will taste like it was steamed. When you are ready, preheat your grill. Place steaks on hot grill and only flip once about 3-4 minutes. Then allow the other side to cook for the same time. If you have a meat thermometer, medium rare should be at 125 degrees. Once charred to your liking, remove steak and let sit for 15 minutes before eating.
Now for the fun stuff! We’ve got 3 Bitter Feast DVDs that we want to give you! All you need to do is leave us a comment and tell us what movies you want us to review in future columns! We’ll pick the lucky winners at random and send you the prize. Don’t forget to follow us on twitter: @slashanddine where we’ll post more pics, more recipes, and talk about all things horror, too!
-Nicole & Megan